Relativity
by turbomagnus
Summary: Normal is relative and there's no such thing as a normal relative. Both statements are fact.


Disclaimer: Ken Akamatsu owns Love Hina, the locations, characters and situations thereof... I'm merely using them for entertainment purposes without intent to profit.

This disclaimer will self-destruct in five seconds.

* * *

"Relativity"  
by J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

* * *

"When you are courting a nice girl, an hour seems like a second. When you are sitting on a red-hot cinder, a second seems like an hour. That's relativity." - Albert Einstein.

* * *

Aoyama Motoko stopped in her path and glared at the man standing before her, "What are you doing here?"

"Last time I checked, the Hinatasou was girls-only... since Tsuruko insisted on staying there, I've found myself a room at an inn in town," the man closed his eyes calmly, hands resting on the cane in front of him, knowing full well the explosion that would follow his next words, "That's the kind of thing you do when you're married, Little Sister."

"I am not your sister," Motoko responded harshly, unknowingly meeting the man's expectations.

"A rock may think it blocks the river, but the water still flows around it..." He shrugged, "Pretty words to say that whether you like it or not, I am still Tsuruko's husband with all the duties and privileges that go along with it. I would have thought that finally having a partner you would begin to understand."

"I do not have... a 'partner' as you put it!" Motoko snapped reflexively, wincing seconds later as she realised what she had just done.

"Strange... that's not what I've heard... which means you were lying to Tsuruko then... lying to me now... or perhaps simply lying to yourself all along, Little Sister," He emphasised each option with a sharp rap of his cane on the sidewalk.

"I do not... that is to say, it is not..." Motoko sighed, her entire body language turning dejected, "It is not that simple."

Tsuruko's husband opened his eyes and raised an eyebrow, "I've found over the years that most things really are 'that simple' and people choose to make them complicated."

"Utterances from a fool," Motoko sneered, becoming defiant.

"Who's more foolish; the fool or the one who follows them?" He raised an eyebrow and smirked, "I can't take credit for that one, I got it from a movie."

Motoko's teeth clenched as her hand found its way to her sword, "Arrogant male!"

The Shinmeiryuu swordswoman's katana came like lightning out of its sheath, slashing through the air towards her sister's husband. Instead of cutting flesh, however, the steel of the blade was stopped mid-arc by the ki-reinforced wood of the cane, now being held sword-like by its owner.

"It's not arrogance if you have the ability to back it up," he corrected her, holding the cane against the sword, "You still haven't learned that, Little Sister."

Bringing his free hand up to cup the head of the cane, he began to slowly apply pressure against the sword, forcing it downward, lecturing as he did so, "A bold frontal charge filled with the warrior spirit might have carried the day in the Warring States Era, but times change. Weapons change, battlefields change. The one thing that does not change is the one tool that you still insist on denying, Motoko, your brain. Think!"

That one word declaration was punctuated by the sound of metal striking concrete as despite Motoko's efforts her sword was forced to the ground.

"One warrior who plans his strikes can defeat a thousand who attack wildly," he continued, "Pick your battles, pick your battlefields, pick your opponents and stop trying to pick fights with everyone you see. Look between us. You lost control and drew your sword recklessly, I'm simply applying decisive force at the proper place and..."

Releasing his off-hand from the head of the cane, he twirled his other wrist deftly and made Motoko lose her grip on her sword, causing it to go flying away and end up embedding itself into the ground off to the side.

"Now I have a distinct advantage," he finished, "Don't make the same mistake I once did and refuse to listen to those who know."

Motoko's eyes darted from her lost sword to the cane her opponent was holding, "And what do you think you know?"

"Many things," he answered, "How to live, how to die, how to laugh, love and cry... Right now the important thing that I know is to that there's three sides to every argument; 'Your side, their side... and the truth'. You told Tsuruko that you have a romantic interest, that's one side; you told me you did not, that's the other side... now, the truth, if you would be so kind?"

Emotionally spent, Motoko dropped to her knees as she made a confession, "I no longer know what is the truth."

Her brother-in-law gave a half-smile and nodded his head slightly, "An ancient philosopher once said that the first step on the road to knowledge is to admit that you know nothing. Now that you've taken that step, try to keep walking..."

* * *

As time passed, they ended up seated on the ground and now her brother-in-law listened intently as Motoko reached the conclusion of her tale, "But... looking back on many times... she was the only one who claimed to see acts of perversion and she never actually proved them, she just shouted louder about him being a pervert..."

He nodded thoughtfully, "So, she has no other, so the saying goes, but a woman's reason; she thinks him so because she thinks him so."

When Motoko looked at him in confusion, he continued, "Shakespeare."

He thought for a moment, then nodded slowly, as he stood up, "In summation; you want him, he wants you, but he also wants this other girl - appearantly out of habit more than anything else, because it's become expected of him. Well, if he's technically with you now - even if you are just trying to fool Tsu' - and still having thoughts of the girl that basically rejected him without the paperwork, there's only one thing to do..."

"I know that I am going to regret this," Motoko looked at him with narrowed eyes, "But that would be what?"

He tapped his cane on the ground twice and hummed before answering, "Blow his mind, claim your prize and make sure he doesn't have any reason to think of her beyond 'dodged a bullet' in the future."

Motoko jumped to her feet and spat the words; "Vile perverted male."

"_Married_, vile perverted male, little sister..." He corrected calmly, "So I would think that I know of what I speak."

The kendoka about snarled, "What my sister sees in a gaijin such as yourself..."

"Is exactly what you see in this 'Keitaro'," her brother-in-law cut in.

Motoko visably deflated at the truth in that simple statement, "It would be improper."

He turned away slowly, "There's improper and then there's giving up... I never thought you'd be one to give up."

"An Aoyama never gives up!"

He spun back around and snapped, "Then quit making excuses and fight, little sister!"

"Do not call me your 'little sister'! You may be my sister's husband, but that is all!"

"And if you could put half as much energy into what you really want as you do into trying to split us up - even after failing for years - I'd probably have nieces and nephews by now," He retorted harshly, "Though I'm starting to hope they'd take after their father."

"How dare you!"

"Victory goes to he who dares," he countered, "Or she, as the case may be... try it some time."

"You say such things after lecturing me about them!"

"Daring and recklessness are two distinct entities, Little Sister. Recklessness is daring without caution, haste is speed without thought; a warrior of any school should know daring and speed wins battles where recklessness and haste loses them. The difference is still the same lesson that I'm teaching and you're not listening to, Motoko - Thinking! Using that ten pound, square foot object you call a brain for something other than giving shape to your head!"

Shaking his head, he turned his back on her and started to walk away, muttering to himself; "Ignorance can be forgiven, but not stupidity, because ignorance can learn and stupidity refuses to do so..."

Frowning to herself, Motoko collected her sword and began the walk back to the Hinata.

* * *

By the time she had arrived at the dormitory, Motoko had made her decision. Opening the front door with enough force to make it bounce off the wall, she walked through the living room of the Hinata without paying any attention to anyone there except her target, not even the sister who she marched right past without even acknowledging.

"Urashima!"

"Mo-Motoko?" Keitaro stuttered in confusion as she closed in on him.

Before he knew what was happening, Motoko had grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and slammed him up against a wall before closing her mouth down on his.

"Wow, go Motokos!" Su Kaolla cheered.

"I was beginning to think I might be forced to take decisive action," Tsuruko nodded in firm approval as Keitaro's hands found Motoko's hips, "I am glad I will not have to."

It was perhaps fate that Narusagawa Naru hadn't been in the room or even the Hinata itself when Motoko had entered. An ironic fate, at that, as it might have prevented the events to follow. Instead, she had disappeared after being confronted with a hospital bed confession from Keitaro of his feelings. Quantum String Theory, if one were familiar with it, dictates that everything that can happen does happen in equal and parallel universes. In another world, one where Tsuruko had come alone and encountering her brother-in-law did not make Motoko think, Naru's next encounter with her and Keitaro would be in Kyoto while they fought against Tsuruko for their freedom. In another world, one where a date turned fiction to truth, their next encounter would be when Naru returned to the Hinata to discover Motoko and Keitaro were to be wed. But, no matter how many worlds there are, there would always be those where Naru would find the answers she was looking for in herself and return to the Hinata while Tsuruko was still there and Motoko and Keitaro still pretending; and in all of those, there would be at least one where they were no longer pretending.

This would be that one.

By now, some of the onlookers had begun to get fidgety as the kiss between Motoko and Keitaro showed no signs of ending unless it was to pause for a rapid break to one of their bedrooms, not what any of them had been expecting that day. Their day was about to get more interesting. Without knocking, Naru entered the Hinata with a loud announcement on her lips.

"I'm ba-"

Naru froze in the middle of her words, mouth hanging open in shock, the bag in her hand dropping to the floor by her feet. Neurons fired and connections were made, two plus two was added together to reach four, but then prejudice kicked in and added a minus one to the equation and a biased conclusion was reached. Simply, it was all Keitaro's fault, Keitaro was a pervert and Keitaro had to be punished.

"You pervert!" Naru made her conclusion clear to the other occupants of the room as she raised her fist and started stalking towatds the couple, "What are you doing to Motoko?"

A red haze descended and her vision narrowed to where she could only see Keitaro's face so that she could put her fist to it, her teeth were clenched and a growl rumbled from her throat as she marched forwards. Before she could reach them, however, there was a loud whip of something cutting through the air and she found herself tripping over the cane that was suddenly sticking out of the floor in her path. As Naru crashed to the ground, Tsuruko recognised the cane and looked over to the front door of the Hinata where her husband stood, leaning against the doorframe with one hand, smiling as he touched the first two fingers of his other hand to his brow in a salute. She shook her head and sighed gently at his incessant need to indulge his flair for the overly-dramatic, no matter how effective it usually turned out to be in the end. Pressed against each other and the wall, Motoko and Keitaro kissed on, oblivious to the world around them.


End file.
